he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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