yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
