Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
