I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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