and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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