haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
