Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
