you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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