Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
