shes about as inviting as chlamydia
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
