Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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