so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize