so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
