We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
