She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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