I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
