Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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