Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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