I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
