Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
false alarm. still invincible.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
