he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
