Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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