Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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