Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
