I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize