dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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