....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
