He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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