you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
zippers are such a cool invention
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
