my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
