you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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