Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
you never un-have a 4some
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
