Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
