she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
