I'm going to jail i love you
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
