It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
