so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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