ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
