Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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