btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize