We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
