you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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