so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
