I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Floor bacon is actually really good
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
