you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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