I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
