after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
