do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
