I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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