And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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