Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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