Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
