maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
