also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It's blow job season.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
