i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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