You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
