i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
