Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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