I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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