Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
