So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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