My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
