so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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