you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
