Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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