thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
