My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
