got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize