remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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