i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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