the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
it's like heaven, but drunker
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
